I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
