Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
