Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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