Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
