hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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