If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
