garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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