i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize