Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
