OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
