Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
