Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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