So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
