I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
