mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
