Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
