Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
