direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
