Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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