You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
