haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
