YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
