Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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