Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
