you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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