How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
