But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
