If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
