I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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