So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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