Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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