She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
