i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
