only if we run a train.
done.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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