I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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