Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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