definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
