and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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