Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
