oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
