a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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