hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
