Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
His nipple licking is glorious
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