I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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