I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
