the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
