Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize