your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
