She is in my trunk
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
