i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
