Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
