um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Randomize