there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The feeling are messing with the penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
