where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
