So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
