i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
