I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
