So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
