My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
3 2 1 whiskey
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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