YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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