Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
