sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
