I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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