My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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