We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
