brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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