Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize