i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
