they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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