mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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