Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
