found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
