I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize