If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
