I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
